The History Boys at Warwick Arts Centre

For a variety of reasons, we couldn't make it to the Nottingham performances of Bennett's 2004 National Theatre smash-hit. So it was lucky that we had friends who got us tickets for the Warwick Arts Centre performances for the next week on in the tour. It was certainly worthwhile...

So far, The History Boys has taken the London stage by storm, gone down exceptionally well in NYC and with plenty of enthusiastic reviews is taking pretty full houses all round the country in the current tour. A radio broadcast (and CD version) of the play has been done. And the barely altered film version is imminent in the cinema.

So is it any good?

Well, it IS a play of two halves. The first half is so astonishingly good - witty, sharp, moving and bristling with great lines - that it is mostly this brilliance that makes the second half seem so much more pedestrian. Partly, the derives from the apparant need to offer a considerable amount of resolution, but also to drive the plot in melodramatic directions. It is still great entertainment, and head and shoulders above a lot of recent theatre, but the second half just cannot scale the heights achieved by the opening half. The narrative arc (sympathy, revelation, destruction) somewhat undermines the range of ideas and contradictions that make the opening so stunning.

That said, it is both a wonderful play and a wonderful production. Bennett is one of those playwrights who can charm and delight often prissy middle-class audiences into gleeful unblinking delight at his writing, even when it includes some BBC-warning-"VERYstronglanguage"-speeches. (The 60-something gran who swapped seats with her grandson to sit next to us seemed far less put out by the littering of f- and c-words than she was by the nearby braying hooray Henrietta's whooping cheers* for the final applause and bows).

After such an astonishing original cast - Griffiths and De La Tour - casting can prove crucial in convincing an audience. Not only do you have to find some sympathy with the 'fiddling' Hector (ably played by Stephen Moore, a familiar British TV and theatre actor), but you also have to believe in the boys themselves. I never expected anything less than a great performance from Thomas Morrison as Scripps (played with a similar kind of watchful youthful pleasure and anguish as he bought to his role as Danny Holden), but Stephen Webb was just heart-breaking as Posner. Deliciously camp but utterly believable in his behaviour, his doomed adoration of the fey, fickle and self-awaredly 'handsome' Daykin (Ben Barnes) is beautifully conveyed: both were well praised in the review of the Nottingham performances. I would also dare to say that although I have only seen stills from the original cast production, Barnes was a far more 'pretty boy' Daykin than Dominic Cooper, who has far more 'rough edges' in his physical portrayal.

With its eclectic enthusiasm for culture over formal, quantifiably assessable education-as-(one bloody)-qualification (after another), the play taps into all manner of pet hobby-horses for Guardian and Independent readers. However, in placing the flawed, and potentially to some minds dangerous, Hector as our first rock of sympathy and appeal, Bennett challenges us to look beyond simple explanations and definitions. If you haven't seen the play yet, try and do so. If not, get to see the film. But keep an eye out for the progress of the cast of boys: I hope, and trust, they will go on to some great things in the future.



* Seriously, I think she'd been watching some overdose of 1930s cowboy-'n'-injun films, such was the stunning awfulness of her hollering whoops. If she'd have sat next to me, I'd have been tempted to gag her.

Favourite TV characters

Following on from Joss Whedon over at Whedonesque giving his favourite 25 TV characters (as reported by lovely MediumRob), I thought that I should offer a list of my own.

I've thought about it of course, but I've tried to limit myself by giving myself just 15 mins to write the post. I've took a bit longer than than that (it took 7 songs on i-Tunes) but the longer I spend the more likely it was to take over my day.

Anyway, I get to include reference to the Whedonverse - a freedom available to me as I didn't write them. I've also stuck with those created for TV (so no Casanova folks as MUCH as we loved that!), even though that left off a lot of well-portrayed characters who came from elsewhere (Andy Dalziel, for example, or Edward Petherbridge's Lord Peter Wimsey [I'm re-reading some Sayers at the mo which is why that's in my mind]). And although obviously The Doctor is one of THE best TV figures ever created, since the character changes somewhat with every regeneration I've left that one off the list. I also gave considerable thought to disentangling characters from actors: so as much as I have loved performances by people such as Dougie Henshall (Psychos, Kid in the Corner), David Tennant (Blackpool) and Ken Stott(Messiah, The Vice, Takin' Over the Asylum), Christopher Eccleston (Our Friends in the North, The Second Coming), and David Morrissey (Holding On, Blackpool), I've come to the reluctant conclusion that in most instances I was attracted by the performance and the actor's inhabitation and not just the character.

So in thinking out this list I've gone for characters that perhaps anyone else might have played (because the writing was so good) but which had the good fortune of great casting to be given to the best person for the job.

1. Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - because, well pretty obvious really
2. Josh Lyman from The West Wing - for being a volatile heart on his sleeve guy
3. Dr. Dana Scully from The X-Files - for being able to keep a straight face even when the plot went utterly bonkers and her Carter-penned soliloquies became unbearably portentious (you should see her as a double act with Mulder really I guess as a great character)
4. Brian Topp from Spaced - for anger, pain and painting
5. Lisa Simpson from the Simpsons - for being smart and surviving
6. Munch from Homocide: Life on the Street / Law & Order: Special Victims Unit / X-Files 100th episode - for being so fantastically conspiratorial
7. Gregory House from House - because I just never got Jeeves & Wooster so I have NO problem with the accent and love smart characters
8. Det. Robert Goren from Law & Order: Criminal Intent - because again, smart guys
9. CJ Cregg from The West Wing - because she was just so incredible
10. Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel - for having such a great character arc and huge numbers of great lines
11. Dr. McCartney from Green Wing - for being quick-witted, but stupid in love
12. Dr. Joel Fleishman from Northern Exposure - for being sweet (though its a tough call against DJ Chris...)
13. (Ale)Xander Lavelle Harris from Buffy - because for all his faults he and his humour remained adorable
14. Bernard Black from Black Books - wickedly funny
15. Edmund Blackadder - for sustained historical wit and ingenuity
16. Sue White from Green Wing - for being surreal
17. Abby from NCIS - goth girl geek!
18. Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs - for being sarky and soft-hearted
19. Father Dougal McGuire from Father Ted - for managing to make confusion so appealing
20. Mal Reynolds from Firefly - for courage and stupidity
21. Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery from Dharma and Greg - because whilst the actress may be a scary kook, Dharma was a great kook character (especially when having eaten lots of sugar)
22. Jane Tennison from Prime Suspect - for really taking 'cop shows' to another level
23. Gil Grissom from CSI - for just being ineffably cool
24. Niles Crane from Frasier - for being wimpish to the extreme
25. Lois from Malcolm in the Middle - for somehow holding it together

I could have gone for any number of others instead or as well as these. Any number of great characters from the Whedonverse, or The West Wing, let alone all the random residual memory characters from my TV viewings (Ilya Kuryakin! Burnside from Sandbaggers! Tom and Ruth from Spooks! Marty Hopkirk - the first TV programme I remember watching! Joy Merryweather from Drop the Dead Donkey! Earl Hickey! Francis Urquart!).

It's no good, this list would change in a minute. And excuse the lack of links but I wanted it posted.

UPDATE: MediumRob has his own list which only serves to highlight how partial my list was and how incomplete and how I managed to omit so many great characters. Sheesh, I mean, I doubt my mother will ever forgive me for forgetting Avon from Blake's 7. She's gonna start haunting me I tell ya...

Emily's Open Letter

Stumbled over this and I hope the lovely Emily in Hollywood will forgive me for posting it here:

Dear Mr. Tennant,

I'm writing from Hollywood, California, because your star's rising so brightly I can see it from here, and it's gorgeous, and it's blinding, and I thought you should know what it looks like from 6000 miles. This is also a love letter.

From today I give you a year, maybe eighteen months till you're a household name, top-billed, in the States as well as abroad. Here's what's gonna happen.

They'll make you work out, you beautiful lanky stringbean, and you'll get biceps and a chest and then they'll make you do (more) shirtless scenes. Then you're gonna cultivate an American accent. They'll tell you to do it because more roles'll open up for you. We'll tell you to do it because we want to hear you sound like us, and you'll do it because you got a bit of the cowboy in ya and a damned good ear. Take it for a test drive on Doctor Who this year, because in the age of BBC America you've got a bigger captive audience than Tom Baker ever had, and in a week you'll end up on YouTube.

Next you get a breakthrough hit. Something with critical appeal on a low budget, this year's Trainspotting. I bet the scripts are coming in already, and you're with ICM, so you'll pick the right one. Then it's a question of do you want to do the mainstream summer American romantic comedy they send ya, or do you wait for the villain role in the smaller American thriller? And the girls join the gays, as they tend to, and next thing you're beating out Brad Pitt in every poll there is. Glossy magazines that smell like perfume will call you things like "The Scottish Sensation" and the Desperate Housewives will start fantasizing about you. Quite possibly call you to offer you a six-episode arc.

I just met you this past year because I'm a geek and a fangirl and I watched Eccleston in Who, and, like everyone, thought I'd never get over him once he left. (If you're playing the home game, you had me in three episodes. I marked the moment, it's at the end of "School Reunion" when we get our very first giant Tennant grin, breaking around "my Sarah Jane!")

Since then I've made a point of getting hold of screeners for Casanova, Blackpool, Secret Smile. I watched 2005's Quatermass for you, and the internet provided old episodes of Taking over the Asylum where they noticed you first, all limbs and energy and that weird wisdom in your eyes. You like props and stage business. You like smiles that break from one corner of your mouth to the other, like a wave. You like to touch people. You like to pace, to sit down and get right back up again. You like to cross a room and then look back over your shoulder. You bite your upper lip and shoot a knowing look. Most white guys bite their lower lips, but you've redefined mouth business for a whole new generation, with that pop of your lower jaw and the way the tip of your tongue folds up against the roof of your mouth. I suspect some of that's you, just as I suspect that even when you're not performing your face tells a hell of a story.

So I did twelve years of Tennant in about two months, real time. I watched you grow up and blow up and explode on the screen as Casanova, as Carlisle, as the Doctor. This time you took the slower path, and I tripped through the pages of your book and fell for you as I watched you blow the roof off the place.

The reviews I've read describe your Doctor as quirky, electric, I've even heard "waspish," but if you ask me (and boy how you didn't) I think the key element you bring to the character's what we saw in the very first five minutes we had him on screen -- he's a fellow who's hop, hop, hopping for his life, in perpetual motion because if he ever stops, even for a second, he'll be forced to come to terms with the weight of his 900 years and all his angst and guilt. And so you spin him across the screen with a sort of desperate mania, like the guy who hides his emotions behind humor or the guy who talks too fast because he doesn't want to hear what you're gonna say if he lets you interrupt. Actually, it's kind of chilling. One gets the feeling that just beneath the surface, Tennant's Doctor, for all his infinite adaptibility, is about one good guilt trip away from smiting the universe with his wrath for all of its injustices. Kind and passionate, yeah, but don't ever mistake that for nice.

All this in sharp contrast to your Casanova, though on the surface they do share a sort of Peter Pannish irrepressibility, because you somehow managed to make Casanova -- while entirely a rogue -- the domestic sort. Here's a man who, despite appearances, really does just want that perfect love affair, to run off with his heart's desire and settle down for a life of domestic wedded bliss. And how you managed to do that while keeping him a self-centered cad is just another little indication of why I spent the last two months seeking out every credit of yours I could get my hands on. Casanova who wants nothing more than for his son to be proud of him, or nothing more than to play house with Henriette, and still manages to botch the whole thing up because he's crippled by his own need for instant gratification and because he's got that magpie-like attraction to the shiny and new and untried.

And then Carlisle's a third sort entirely, probably the laziest character I've seen you play. And of course it's not really laziness he's got, but what you present as sort of a combination of complete worldly entitlement and a sort of boredom with everything around him. Your Carlisle slouches through his life completely convinced he'll get whatever he's got his eye on without much effort on his part. When other folks talk, he lets his mind wander. He lopes around with that air of bored confidence, but then, in a really phenomenal performance, you litter all that confidence with nervous behavior, the eye poking, the oral fixation. Like even Carlisle doesn't know how insecure he really is. And it works for him, both the insecurity and the overconfidence; he gets his man, he gets the girl, he's a corrupt antihero and we all root for him anyway.

In other words, you've impressed the socks off me. And that doesn't mean anything, I mean, my opinion, as I'm not famous, or noteworthy, or an asshole, but I'm brighter than most and I've got discerning taste and I'm not even an Anglophile; I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Jewish New Yorker cum-Angeleno, and I think you are the greatest thing to come along since belly lox on a bagel. And not just because you're a beautiful man, which you are, from the loud arch of your eyebrow to your toothy grin that can stop a girl's heart, ka-thud, just like that. And not just because you're a legitimate talent, a genuine actor's actor, an alive, electric performer with a freakish ability to shift from beaming to broken or from charming to creepy with a curl of your lip. Because one bit of stage business isn't enough for you, and they may call you spastic and jumpy but every single one of those movements is controlled, elegant. You slide into your roles like you were born in them, which, I suppose, in the Doctor's case, you were. You make good decisions. You see the whole picture. And I've grown absolutely addicted to watching you do it, and falling just a little bit in love with you besides.

Not even just because you're a Socialist, or you did 7:84 or can probably match me at West Wing trivia, or because you still believe in agitprop, though those are points in your favor. And I didn't fall for you just because you're six feet and can't weigh more than a buck fifty but you move like a dancer and your head's always square on your shoulders and you can't teach that kind of confidence, that kind of posture, that's just born, and either you got it or you don't, and you've got it in spades.

But mostly I'm impressed from 6000 miles away, and I felt the need to write to you, because you're taking this in stride, all of it, hop hop hopping for your life and making good choices and living in the present and building a career not by cutthroat ambition but by sheer talent, each role coming out of the next because we want you, and not the other way around. And you say now that you don't have a five year plan, and I believe you, because I've read articles from '04 where you mentioned trying to get your agent to put you up for a walk-on role on Who. But a year from now you're going to belong to the world, The Next Big Scot, because the scripts are only going to come in faster after Christmas, after Recovery, after whatever's next, and I'm gonna miss you.

Scotland's known you forever, but we just got hold of you over here across the pond, and we're proprietary! I love that this year you're property of the geeks, the fanboys and fangirls and the Pink Paper gays, all of us who always jump on board just a little bit quicker than the rest of the world, all of us who know how to see magic in the mundane and who saw it in your amazing face. We're a clever bunch, geeks and artists, and we usually find the cool stuff first.

We're on the brink, you know? Doesn't it feel like apocalypse weather? This big world and my country's diabolical administration and the conflict that arises when a planet gets too small for its population? Good time for agitprop and a great time for geeks -- we made the microphones and the internet and the podiums and now we've got 'em in our hot little hands. So what do we SAY? What do we DO? How do we use what we got to change the world for the better? Is it any wonder I fantasize about this year's love in the form of a Socialist Scot with a talent that even The Man can't keep down?

But that's also why this is a love letter, because I'm aching for our lost year, because next time you're in LA you'll be bigger than Brad Pitt and rich as Croesus, and I'm never gonna get the chance to work with you, to use your energy and vast, sprawling talent to tell my stories. And we'll never get that drink.

And it woulda been a good drink, David, it woulda been awesome.

Maybe I'm wrong, and you'll stay staunchly where you are, the pride of Scotland and the Pink Paper heartthrob for five more series of Who, and then maybe after that you'll team up with Russell Davies and write your own pilot, and star in that, and spend some more decades with the RSC and follow the path of other actorly British sorts, and you'll crossover to the states when you're seventy and playing Dumbledore in Harry Potter 21.

But either way, I hope you feel the potential, the excitement, the fire of your shooting star. Because from over here, it is absolutely incredible to watch, and I can't look away.

The best of luck to you in everything you do. Come to LA and I'll show you a good time.

Kinda sweet ain't it?

The Collected Rosby and Marie material

For the sake of the historical archive, I hereby present the collected lyrical and scenario works of Marie and Rosby respectively (or at least as many as I could locate: I'm pretty sure that a comment by Rosby on Marie's site from Jan 1 2006 is lost in haloscan hell).

Yes, it makes for a long post. But this stuff is too funny to be lost to the mists of time.

Saturday November 19 2005

David Tennant, you're the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun,
David Tennant, I'm awfully fond of you;
(woh woh, bee doh!)

David Tennant, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
David Tennant, you're my very best friend, it's true!
(doo doo doo doooo, doo doo)

Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and pink and not chubby
(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)

David Tennant, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
David Tennant, I'm awfully fond of you.

Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and pink and not chubby
(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)

David Tennant, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
David Tennant, I'm awfully fond of -
David Tennant, I'd like a whole pond of -
David Tennant I'm awfully fond of you!
(doo doo, be doo.)


Monday December 19 2005

Now!!!! Updated with guitar chords for you to play along!!!!

Intro: ( carillon arranged for guitar ) [I have no idea what this means]
G
e:-------------------------|-------------------------||
B:-------------------------|-------------------------||
G:-------------0-----------|----------0--------------||
D:-------0--4-----4--2--0--|----0--2-----0-----------||
A:----2--------------------|-3-----------------------||
E:-3-----------------------|-------------------------||

G
I don't want a lot for Christmas
G/B
There is just one thing I need
C
I don't care about Queen Lizzie
Cm
Doing her speech on TV
G Bm C/E D
I just want him for my own
G Bm C/E D
More than he could ever know
C
Make my wish come true
C D
All I want for Christmas
Em C D
Is Who

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about Chicago
Shrek or Superman part 3
I don't need to hang my stocking
I will wear it on my knee
Santa Claus and his Invasion's
Coming down the wrong chimney
I just want him for my own
More than he could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is Who
Who (Doctor)

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting,
David Tennant, go go go,
I won't make a list and send it
To the boys at BBC
I won't even stay awake to
Watch soft porn on ITV
'Cause I just want him here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is Who
Who

B G
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
B G
And the sound of badly-done canned
Laughter fills the air
Bm G
And everyone is singing
Em
I hear that TARDIS spinning
C
Santa won't you bring me the one
D
I really need - won't you please
Bring my baby to me

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want young David Tennant
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas
Is Who

All I want for Christmas
Is Who (Doctor)
Is Who (Doctor)

Tuesday 3 January 2006

[The scene - a Pate's bus. Ros is jiggling in her seat as we draw up to Skittles' bus stop. As Sophie comes in and takes her place next to Ros, Ros starts to shout...]

Ros: Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! You know you recorded the Xmas Invasion? Can I borrow it???
Sophie: Um, actually...

Ros: [Eagerly] Yes?

Sophie: [Quietly] I kind of recorded over it.

[Ros stares at her for a few moments, then slowly nods and stares straight ahead. For a few minutes there is complete silence as she stays completely still.]

Sophie: Um...Ros, are you all right?

Ros: [Snapping into life] NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAGHGAHGAHAG
WANNASEEDAVIDTENNANTIN
XMASINVASIONALLPLANSHAVEFAILEDGAGGHHHHH!

[She stands up, screaming, and hurtles herself towards the driver's seat. Pushing him out of the way she takes erratic control of the wheel, making the bus swerve left and right violently, whilst everyone on board screams.]

Ros: [Hysterically] If I'm going down without seeing that episode I'M TAKING YOU LOT WITH ME!!!

[She steps on it, and the bus surges forward. Suddenly she lets go of the wheel and lets it take its course. Suddenly, who had been sitting quietly, lunges towards the wheel.]

Man: STOP! STOP, IT'S ME!!!

[Ros looks briefly at the man, then looks again, more closely.]

Ros: Oh my...David...TENNANT???

David: [Yelling amidst the screams and shouts.] Yes, it's me! Listen Ros, you don't have to do this! I've got a copy here, look!

[He holds up a DVD. Ros puts out her hands and takes, eyes shining.]

Ros: This is...actually it??

David: Yes, it's it. Now please STOP!

Ros: [Not looking at the road, but at David.] Oh David, thank you so much! I always knew you were a wonderful, brilliant...

[She says no more, seeing as the bus collides with a lampost.]


Saturday February 18 2006

[The Scene - a dark, smelly room in a warehouse. The room is empty, save for Monty, Marie, Lisa, Kat, Tash, Janine, Sophie, Jack and Elizabeth. They are each tied to a chair with gags in their mouths; writhing furiously to try and get free, shouting through their gags, but to no avail. Suddenly a door bangs open somewhere, and Rosby enters, dragging a chair along with Amy bound to it.]

Rosby: Well, that's the last of them.

[She sets down the struggling Amy and faces everyone, a malicious smile playing on her face.]

My loyal slaves, all at my command. I warned you this would happen! "Comment on my blog!" I wrote, and yet you didn't. And so it has come to this.

Tash: [Struggling violently.] Mmmf pfff ffffff mmmm ffff!

Rosby: [Smiling evilly.] Hmm, had better remove the gag. [She does so.] What did you say?

Tash: [Furiously.] You can't keep us locked up here forever! We've got families! They're going to notice we're gone!

Rosby: Ahhh, I'm afraid you're mistaken there, Miss Evans. For in each of your houses, I have placed decoys where you would usually be, whether it be studying, playing Sims 2, writing a novel, anything. I always knew that my army of Year 7 clones would come in handy...

[She trails off, lost in a reverie. After a moment or two she snaps back to life and smirks.]

But enough monologuing, back to the plan! I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at what I have achieved...[She starts to walk away but pauses.] I think taking off the gags will increase the impact of this one...

[She takes off each gag. The warehouse suddenly rings with shouts, bellows and screams. Rosby simply smiles beautifically and walks offstage for a minute or two. She comes back wheeling a tall, blue wooden box. Lisa and Marie stop yelling and stare at it, dumbfounded.]

Lisa: Is...is that what I think it is?

Rosby: [Patting it affectionately.] The very one. It was a lot of work getting it here, I can tell you. I had to fight off a rampaging Russell T Davies, but I managed it. Here it is. The TARDIS. And... [she opens the door.] ...guess what's inside?

[She gropes inside and pulls out David Tennant, still wearing his Doctor costume, clutching the sonic screwdriver, looking very confused. Marie and Lisa look at him, struck dumb with complete and utter shock.]

Kat: Oh...

Tash: My...

Elizabeth: Bloody...

Lisa & Marie: GOD!!!

David: [Waving nervously.] Hello!

Rosby: The one and only David Tennant. He was even more difficult to get here; without this boy's help... [she briefly pulls Binnie out of the TARDIS, then shoves him back in] ...I wouldn't have been able to brew my anti-Tennant anditode. For twelve hours I am immune to his looks, his charm, his teeth...but you, my dear Marie and Lisa, are not.

Marie: [Scoffing.] What, you seriously think you're going to be able to harm us with...

[Before she can finish, David turns towards her and gives her The Smile. She stops talking abruptly, stares at him with an open mouth, gives a faint choking sound, then faints.]

Lisa: Marie!

[David turns towards her. She looks at him involuntarily, her eyes flick to the screwdriver, she mutters something inaudible and passes out too. Everyone else watches in horror.]

Rosby: And for the others... Barrowman! [She brings him out.] Angelina Jolie! [She pulls her out of the TARDIS.] Max! [She pulls him out too. The respective people faint away. Kat, Tash, Jack and Elizabeth are left.]

Hmm...it's more difficult to do it with you. But don't worry, I'm sure I'll find a -

Jack: [Interrupting.] Rosby...

Rosby: [Irritated.] What?

Jack: Exactly when did you steal David Tennant?

Rosby: Yesterday, at twelve o'clock in the afternoon.

Jack: Right...and when did you take the antidote?

Rosby: At the same time! Wait a second. [She looks at the clock; just after midnight. She gasps.] Oh no...oh no...

[On cue, David faces her and flashes the grin. She gives a gasp and staggers backwards. Kat looks at David and then at Tash in despair.]

Kat: Do we really have to endure this?

Tash: Who cares, it's weakening her!

[Rosby is finding it difficult to stay upright. With a final gasp, she collapses to the floor.]

Rosby: [Muttering.] I'm going to kill Binnie...[she passes out.]

[David stops grinning and starts sheperding the new arrivals back into the TARDIS.]

David: Hurry up, come on, come on, that's it...

Kat: Um...how are they all fitting in there? It's really small.

[David gives her a look of utter disdain.]

David: Don't you even WATCH Doctor Who?



Saturday May 6 2006

[THE SCENE - A magazine stand in the street. Marie flicks through a radio times. Suddenly she stops at a picture of Myles and Tennant, her eyes widening...]

Marie: GAGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[She throws herself at the magazine stand and tears the whole thing down, savagely ripping up copies of the RT.]

Marie: Damn you, Sophia, damn youuuu!!!

[She screams in fury and makes as if to attack again, but suddenly a voice rings out.]

David: Stop!!

[Marie turns, sees David Tennant.]

Marie: Oh...oh...*wow*.

[She faints. David sighs with annoyance.]

David: This is getting fucking ridiculous...


Thursday May 11 2006

Calling out around the world
Are you ready for a brand new beat?
Summer's here and the time is right
For dancing with DT
Dancing in the Tardis
Down in the Eighteenth Century
Up in very bad thrillers

All we need is Daleks, sweet Daleks
There'll be Slitheen everywhere
There'll be werewolves and bat things and Cybermen playing
And dancing with DT

Oh, it doesn't matter what he wears
Just as long as I can ruffle his hair
So come on, every Time Lord grab a girl
Everywhere around the world(s)
There'll be dancing
I'm dancing with DT

This is an invitation
Leave your TV station
This is a chance for us to meet
There'll be casino bosses swinging and northerners singing
And dancing with DT

Cardiff, Wales (Cardiff, Wales)
London and Paisley now (London and Paisley now)
Yeah don't forget the bookshop (can't forget the bookshop)

All we need is Russell, sweet Russell
With his Casanovaries
There'll be cleavage and big wigs and RPJ doing a jig
And dancing with DT, yeah

Oh, it doesn't matter what he wears
Just as long as the specs are there
So come on, every Time Lord grab a girl
Everywhere around the world(s)
There'll be dancing
I'm dancing with DT

Cardiff, Wales (Cardiff, Wales)
London and Paisley now (London and Paisley now)
Yeah don't forget the bookshop (can't forget the bookshop)
All the way down in Blackpool (dancing with DT)
Not to mention court (Lady Chatterley)
Ice Skating (ice dancing with DT)
In a kilt (dancing with DT)
Unconvincingly on horseback (dancing with DT)
Rolling out your Potter tongue now (dancing with DT)
With his Dad, in a kitchen (dancing with DT)
Shaving off his beard (dancing with DT)
Looking back in anger (dancing with DT)
Taking over the asylum (dancing with DT)
Knowing he was right, every night, I'm dancing with DT...
(fade)


Thursday May 11 2006
[The Scene - a London flat. Marie is pacing up and down. Suddenly the doorbell rings. With a quick glance at her hair in the mirror, she opens the door. On the step stands David Tennant.]

David: Um...hi. You called me?

[Marie, conjuring up all her will and being, manages not to faint. Instead she smiles at David and stands aside.]

Marie: Ah yes. Please come in.

[He comes in and she shuts the door, mumbling incoherently, "Bowl of sugar..." She leads him to the kitchen and indicates a chair. He sits in it.]

David: [Nervously.] Look, what's going on? I don't know you. Why did you ask me to come round? You said it was a dire emergency...

Marie: [Sitting down facing him.] Hmm? Oh yes, I did, didn't I? Right. Well Doc - I mean David, I've been thinking a lot about this, and I've reached a conclusion, and it's only fair to let you know after all. [Beat.] I think we should get married.

David: *What*???

Marie: Now wait a moment before freaking out, just think about this; I think we're perfect for each other. I mean, I'm an up-and-coming writer, so when I get started I could write your Who scripts for you! We'd be a team! And I'm exactly the right age for you, and...and...you're gorgeous, and you could fight off the cybermen for me...or not. Well, you could put up the shelves, at least.

David: [Freaked out.] Look, um...Marie, I'm very flattered, but I'm afraid I've already got a girlfriend.

Marie: [Darkly.] Ah...Sophia.

David: Yeaahh...

Marie: Hmm.

[She leans across and opens another door, and with one hand pulls a confused Lisa out.

Lisa: Marie, what...? [She sees David.] BLOODY HELL!

Marie: This is Lisa. You could marry Lisa instead!

David: Umm...

Lisa: And what about that minor inconvenience of Cloud, Marie?

Marie: [Sotto voce.] Easily disposed of.

Lisa: Excuse me??

Marie: I said nothing...

[A door bangs somewhere. They both look up and see that David is gone. Marie sighs.]

Marie: Damn, so close...

[Suddenly with a thud and a gasp, Rosby tumbles out of the cupboard underneath the sink.]

Rosby: Gagh! Bloody hell; you need to clean under there, Marie! So, is it an all-go?

Lisa: I'm afraid not. We did try.

Rosby: [Disappointed.] Aww...

Marie: I suppose I should be grateful, really. I mean, we cannot always have what we want, even if we do try...a bit too hard. Sometimes it's better to have a goal rather than an instant solution. And plus, Sophia is a lucky, lucky girl. She deserves him. I'll just carry on watching Doctor Who and doing the standard drooling...

[Long pause. Then...]

Rosby: Have you tried Jake Gyllenhaal?



Any missing material you may have saved in a non-blog form (or if there is stuff I just haven't linked to), please let me know so I can make this the full Rosby/Marie archive of Tennant-related amusement.

Thanks!

UPDATED 15 October 2006
Rosby sent me this link and as it's in Marie's comments I'm keeping it here!

Friday 13 October 2006
Re: The David Tennant naked autograph thing...


[The Scene - a gym changing room; David is just drying his hair. The door opens and Marie strides in.]

Marie: Excuse me, I was wondering...[sees his state of undress] WHOA!

[David grabs for a towel to cover himself.]

David: What the hell are you doing??? This is the men's changing room!

[Marie opens her mouth several times, but nothing comes out of it.]

David: *Well*??

Marie: [Recovering slightly] Oh...oh God, sorry, sorry to barge in on you like this. I mean, you're all...pink and bedraggled...[observes this appreciateively]

David: [Peeved] What do you want?

Marie: [Meek] Just an autograph. Please? To Marie, lots of love David.

David: [Taking the offered piece of paper.] Fine...[he starts to write, then looks back up at her] Phillips? Marie Phillips?

Marie: Yes! How did you know?

David: Oh my God! It's *you*! Oh, I've wanted to meet you for a while, trust me. I've read all about your new book, and I've read about you in the papers, it's "Gods Behaving Badly", isn't it?

Marie: Well...yes, that's what it's called.

David: Listen, would you...would you like to go out for a drink sometime?

Marie: Yes! I...wait, hang on. Are you only asking me because you know who I am now?

David: Well, kinda...

Marie: Well in that case, no no no! All those times I've been dying to meet you in a situation like this, and all those times I've followed you home and stood outside your flat...

[David backs away slightly.]

Marie: OK, scratch that. But *now* I'm famous, and *now* I'm successful, you want to go out with me? Well I'm sorry, Mr Tennant, but the answer is no.

[She storms out, leaving David staring sadly, and wistfully back at the door. A mere thirty seconds later, the door bangs open.]

David: Changed your mind?

Marie: Oh, God yes!

[She pulls him to her and they kiss as if there's no tomorrow. Unbidden, the towel falls to the floor. Fade to black.]


I don't mean to say that he's THAT shallow; I just haven't written a scenario in a while...
Rosby | Homepage | 10.13.06 - 7:28 pm | #

UPDATED 17 October 2006:
Following Marie's dream, and the revelation of Dr Who shaped bubble bath containers I added the following comment

Quick, someone run to Boots and get that bubble bath quick!!!

Marie Phillips, soon to be published author, today had to be rescued from a street-filling bubble bath explosion. Fire services noted that they had never seen quite so many bubbles before in their life, but were a little confused why she was taking the bath at her friend's flat. The bubble explosion was caused by her absent-mindedly adding all 45 Doctor Who bubble bath bottles, kindly purchased for her by her blog friends, to her bath simultaneously. She was - coincidentally - rescued from the excess bubbles by nearby tenant David Tennant who emerged from the suds with a supporting arm around her. Soaking wet and with soapy clothes clinging to him, Mr Tennant professed he was a little baffled by the banners held across the street saying "just one more bottle should do it!", but Ms Phillips reassured him that she'd be fine next time if he wouldn't mind helping her manage her urges with the bubble bath.

"I'm sure I can help out" he winked...


In case you haven't guessed I've had a bad day at work and needed some venting distraction. Must be all that time I spend with you and Rosby...
Rullsenberg | Homepage | 10.16.06 - 1:03 pm | #

1000 posts: The Story so far

The lovely Anna gave us a summary of posts when she hit the 100 mark: having hit the 1000 (my god, such waffling!) I feel the urge to do something similar. But obviously I am far more gabby so mine is very long!

So here is a review of the posts so far on a month by month basis, picking out regular topics and those posts that either drew the most comments or were just plain entertaining to me.

Now this doesn't quite add up to the 1000 but it gives you an approximate idea ...

September 2004: 17 posts
Typical posts:

• On William Shatner covering Pulp;


• preview comment for a play starring Douglas Henshall;


• ravings about The West Wing;


• a quote from Buffy

October 2004: 19 posts

• selections of dialogue from The West Wing;


• a review of Sons & Daughters with the Delgados at the Rescue Rooms, Nottingham;


• mention of Peggy Guggenheim;


• Rullsenberg ranting on pensions and education;


• the review for Darwin in Malibu, the aforementioned play starring lovely Dougie Henshall;


• the death of John Peel

November 2004: 5 posts
NB my dad died at the start of the month and blogging was therefore very light

• a review of The Roots in concert (possibly the first post to actually draw a comment from someone other than Cloud! Thanks Lily!);


• the first of several very long and ultimately very boring posts on the Channel 4 Ultimate Film list - you know the one where you got obscure black and white films appear in it rather than the latest blockbuster...?

December 2004: 6 posts

• more ultimate film list nonsense with me remarking whether I had seen the aforementioned films or not - damn I was a boring blogger back then: in defense I had recently become an orphan;


• still, for some reason, one of those darn posts did draw another new reader: the lovely Casyn: I miss Casyn's posts...


• review of "I love/heart Huckabees";


• praise for Blackpool

January 2005: 49 posts
Hmmm... do you think I may have started with a new resolution on blogging for 2005?

• the declaration regarding the chick flicks article (still in production and heaven only knows when/whether that will progress...);


• some post-rock recommendations


• film reviews for End of the Century: The Ramones, and the fabulous and bedazzling Lemony Snicket;


• my first thoughts on the Norm Blog Song Poll;


• something about a Scottish bloke who isn't called Douglas...


• a death in British surrealism


• my first post to be picked up and linked from the incredibly prolific Norm on moments in movies that make me cry: it remains one of the most regularly viewed posts even if it drew NO comments;


• poetry and story songs;


• a rant on inheritance tax;


• Dougie and St Mirren [dare I hope for this season...?];


• praise for The Rotter's Club on TV

February 2005: 57 posts

• posts about comedy, both British and American;


• predictions for the 2005 BAFTAs and results plus Oscar predictions;


• the first Obscure Songs posts [yes, I do intend to return to that post list];


• a post link to the Rullsenberg Normblog Questionnaire;


• me rushing to record Dalziel and Pascoe due to the unexpected appearance of this name in the credits;


• debates on using Ms or Miss


• a reappraisal of Heaven's Gate;

March 2005: 40 posts

• praise for Kelley Armstrong's vampire/werewolf/witch novels;


• pretentious movies (sorry Dougie);


• great graffiti on political poster boards;


• debates about time travel


• the brilliance of Buffy and the film Sneakers;


• the encounter with the weird and wonderful world of Misty's Big Adventure

April 2005: 54 posts

• Casanova, Casanova...;


• the election of 2005 and political matters;


• the first (?) of many many book memes


• introduction to the world of Clare and her excellent book;


• the death of Andrea Dworkin (again another well-connected post);


• Rullsenberg rantings on matters like class, spurring Duff debates;


• Rufus and all his glory, including leading to the inclusion of Anna;


• a partial review of BAAS 2005

May 2005: 58 posts

• more debates on class and education getting people in a dither;


• persuasive tactics for voting (aka appealing to my lust);


• music lists in great number;


• the scariness of Doctor Who;


• a way for living;


• movies and their watchability;


• Clare's interview of me and my love for Pulp;


• Spacey in The Philadelphia Story

June 2005: 67 posts

July 2005: 52 posts

August 2005: 42 posts

September 2005: 82 posts

October 2005: 81 posts

November 2005: 93 posts

December 2005: 90 posts

January 2006: 81 posts

February 2006: 70 posts

March 2006 (so far): 39 posts

Predictions as at Friday 17 March: observers may spot that the remaining months get much more silly, with increasing numbers of short posts and lots of them linking to Marie... Wonder why???

Opportunities to revel in David Tennant

Seems ABC in Australia will be showing the magnificently bonkers "Blackpool" (worth watching for the first episode alone but jam full of brilliance).

Thanks to this site for passing on all good things Tennant-ish.

And don't forget he's in Much Ado About Nothing this weekend on Radio 3 in a repeat of their drama production.

Hollywood reporter on Blackpool (and a certain actor's song and dance routine)

The review from Hollywood Reporter is medium coll about the quirkiness that was Blackpool, but this quote really made me smile.

There is a tremendous burst of energy with the appearance of David Tennant, a sexy visiting P.I. investigating a murder at Holden's just-opened casino (called an A.W.P., "amusement with prizes"). There's a good laugh when Holden greets the Scot with, "Hey, Braveheart," and they quickly develop an excellent divisive chemistry. Also funny is the scene in which Tennant and Morrissey, both more than 6 feet tall, literally tango to "These Boots Are Made for Walking," effectively dancing in step. It's here where the series is at its best.

TV Programmes (my second attempt)

I had a great post worked out in response to this. Blogger lost it. I have just resisted the urge to throw my cronky office computer from the window on a hot sunny day (even though I know its Blogger and not the computer).

GRRR

Recent / ongoing

* Blackpool (these boots...)
* Casanova (a confection of delight and tears)
* CSI (can I have all three versions?)
* Dr Who (recent series... and hopefully the next)
* Green Wing (just bonkers and hilarious: DVD btw anyone... anyone? Channel 4 have you gone to sleep?)
* House (best doctor in years and a smart character)
* Law and Order: Criminal Intent (smart character, again: even if Private Pyle all growed-up has nicked that quirk of tipping his head on one side from Clooney in "ER")
* Scrubs (Dr. Cox... 'nuff said)
* State of Play (script, actors, genius)
* The West Wing (the parallel world)

Past stuff: gone but not forgotten

* 24 (just Season 1: season 2 had its moments, but it going on and on - and on Sky - I've lost track. Prime 'climb-the-sofa' material)
* Buffy (can I have a slice of the Whedonverse - to include "Angel" as well please?)
* Dharma and Greg (I blame having cable TV for a while: I loved this show)
* Northern Exposure (before Dr. Joel and Maggie really got it together)
* Our Friends (in the South - aka "Holding On" / and the 'original' one, "Our Friends in the North")
* Psychos ("Did you like my flowers....?")
* Seinfeld ("Believe it or not, George isn't at home...")
* Spaced (worth repeated viewing: get them DVDs!)
* The Vice (Ken Stott: hangdog and emotionally tortured - just what he does best)
* The X-Files (because in less than a year we watched every single episode - even the end of season 9...)

Honourable mentions

Blackadder, Curb Your Enthusiasm, ER, Father Ted, Frasier, Our Mutual Friend, Quantum Leap, The Sopranos (early seasons), This Life

Further back in time

The Sandbaggers (one of the few programmes I recall from my younger days)

A question

Okay, for a variety of reasons I haven't yet had chance to buy "Blackpool on DVD. But I am concerned that when I saw it in town, there was a small note on the back saying that due to "clearance and copyright some edits have been made".

If that means "These Boots Are Made for Walking" no longer appears I'm taking the BBC to task for breach of promise on tantalisingly offering me that hope all these months...

Blackpool = James Bond

Sorry, either Amazon is having a wibble fit or it's just business as usual there and I hadn't noticed before. Type in "Blackpool" into the search box and specify DVD and it brings up a host of James Bond movies.

Am I missing something?

Casanova

If you missed this on BBC3, then please say you have invested the time to watch it now that it has quickly come to BBC1. In much the same way as I grinned through Misty's Big Adventure, this production just made me gleeful. It was smart, funny and emotionally connected with me. Also, David Tennant as the young Casanova is superb and gives dashing Peter O'Toole a real run for his acting money. Glorious. Why no due date for DVD release? Am still hanging for Blackpool to get a release as well. As I am for Holding On (1997 and counting). AND Green Wing... turning into a DVD grumbler...

David Tennant: the other hero of Blackpool

Ah, nice to see that Casyn over at The Slayer Library has the forthcoming Harry Potter film on her list of things to do this year. Not because I really like the Harry Potter films - though the last one, based on my favourite of the novels so far, was better than the other two by some distance - but because David Tennant is taking one of the role in it (Barty Crouch Jnr.)

Blackpool, was one of my favourite dramas of last year (see post here, though I could have sworn there were other mentions here... maybe I'm thinking of my personal emailings!). And the wonderful Tennant - from Paisley, no less [some of you may spot in that a theme/link/reason for my delight in his performance] - provided some of its most memorable moments. "These boots were made for walking" anyone?!

Anyway, if only for that, I have to approve of this casting - even if it was done on the basis of his performance in He Knew He Was Right (by that Victorian author I have never 'got', Trollope).

Additionally, what's not to love about a guy with a passing resemblance to el Jarvo...

Final episode of Blackpool tonight

Am very excited. As my friend Helen remarked, David Morissey does angst and death so well you just know it cannot end entirely happily...

Although media interest trailed pretty quickly (too much emphasis on reading it as Potter-lite) it has been a real treat for Thursdays. Good job its Xmas next week! (erm, of course that would make sense if the schedules are any good - I feel heavy amounts of X-files and Buffys being pulled to assist our amusement!)